Experiences of a 2 week healing retreat in the Rainbow Tai Chi & Chi Kung School by Monica Mackin
Hi Master Choy,
Prior to returning to the school to start my chi self-healing retreat, I got the very clear image & feeling that my body was literally going to change, from the inside out. By that I don`t just mean emotionally, but physically also. I could see how new cells & tissues would grow & not only in my womb, but throughout my body. This I believe is what happened & continues to happen. Often during my practise I would see collections of cells growing, different shapes & sizes. Also images of parts of my womb growing, this would regularly happen. At one stage I literally could see my cervix rebuilding, growing, it was all presented in colour science, totally amazing!
Also I believed before starting the programme, that within the time & with all the loving support, techniques, food, chi healing & guidance, the opportunity was there for me to heal on a much deeper level. This offering the possibility of me changing my life, forever.
There are really not words to qualify what I received during this time. From you Master Choy, I received your total focus over these 2 weeks. Your knowledge, skill, wisdom, healing, guidance, teaching, your loving Father sun light was immeasurable. These words don’t even touch what I experienced. Every day your loving, patient, understanding, encouragement & compassion was so unconditional. I don`t believe that there is any place in the world that I would have received & experienced this enormous, generous, abundant, light filled giftedness. Thank you Master Choy.
In tandem, I want to thank & acknowledge Christine for her enormous contribution to my chi self-healing, her care, love, skill & wisdom. Her juices, smoothies & soup are amazing. I stayed on Christine`s wonderful 800kcal diet for the 2 weeks & my body loved it! My hunger has been so satisfied, no highs & no lows, beautifully balanced. My body applauds each time I have some of Christine’s creations. My bowel particularly loves it, so soft, nutrition so available, so easily accessed for energy & repair. One morning as I started to drink my juice with my eyes closed, I saw thousands of people queuing, and the numbers grew so quickly. It was like the world now knows what amazing healing nutrition is available here at the school. I have NO DOUBT that these wonderful healing recipes are going to be savoured worldwide! Thank you Christine for all of the endless research & tasting you has gone through, to create such wonderful healing nutritious food. You are truly amazing. Christine also met my needs so quickly as I was using more energy, adding more beautiful recipes, to add protein & supplement what I already was taking.
Everything I ate & drank was chi energized. Christine literally made her own chi energised camomile, yarrow, calendula & also shepherd`s purse tea bags, such unique attention! Everything tasted amazing, with Christine’s creativity adding different herbs, greens to change the taste. Truly this is really chi healing nutrition, I have no doubt. Teaching me also to prepare the food, especially the prepare the soup & the delicious savory meals, that take 5 minutes. As Christine also provided me with special minerals & Himalayan salt, which to date I really feel the benefit of.
What was so enormously supportive to me was that each morning Christine would tune into how I was feeling. In the early days, the mornings were the toughest time for me. So with her gigantic compassion & understanding, she would be with me, allowing me to feel & be as I was. Then she would very softly guide me back to my inner light, effortlessly & with such unconditional love, Thank you Christine a million times.
What was wonderful then was that Christine could clearly let Master Choy know how I was. If he felt I needed to see him to address the issue, that meeting was arranged almost immediately. The co-ordination of my care was phenomenal, speed of response, record breaking……
I am enormously appreciative to my fellow FTT students. Their love too, generosity, understanding, support & wonderful chi healing was outstanding. They gave of their time & skill so willingly to participate so fully in my chi healing programme. Out of their very busy schedules, time was found to give me the most amazing light filled chi healings. Initially I had difficulty accepting such abundant generosity of spirit, I felt unworthy really, felt that I didn`t deserve to impose on these peoples busy lives. I really had to work with this unworthy self, feeling that I don`t deserve, I am not that important. It was a big part of my healing, to really love & accept these abundant light gifts. That I was worthy & that my body on all HBMS levels deserved the best!
For the first week I had chi healing`s every day, it was unbelievable. The experiences all varied so much. Initially I was surprised but I had difficulty surrendering, totally letting go. My heart would accelerate & breathing shallow. My chi healers were so amazing, totally being with me, where I was. Very patiently & lovingly carrying out the most wonderful transforming chi healings, thank you all! Sometimes I felt a lot of clearing, washing out; I even saw the image of my new washing machine at home. Some of the chi healing`s were so brilliantly light filled, angelic presences, feeling the soft whispers within me. Great spaciousness. During one chi healing I could feel sensations in my pelvis & on a few occasions I saw 3 chain like structures, only the links seemed to be made of hard rubber. The links also were different shapes, but the chains were identical to each other. To me they looked like strings of DNA. My abiding memory is as Linda placed her hand on my tan tien, instantly a vast ocean extended beyond me. There was a point of light on the horizon. The point of light became larger & this was the sun rising. This for me was a turning point in my healing experience; I was finding my way back to my inner sun.
Thank you Robin, Liza, Linda, Tim, Andy, Helen, Vincent & Nick for the most beautiful, loving, illuminating chi healings, I really appreciate it all.
Thank you also to Sabine, Sam & Aisling for your constant encouragement & reassurance. I feel very blessed to have such a light filled, unconditionally loving RTC family
For me to embrace my own chi healing, I really needed to humble myself, to really be prepared to unlearn so many aspects of my upbringing, my education, my medical experience & surrender my negative deep seated beliefs, that had led really to my now ill health. This was challenging, as my head had me demented in the early days. Before I could even anticipate learning new lessons, I really had to let go the shit!
I realised that I wasn`t letting go effectively, at all. So the compost bin was my second home for a lot of my time. To surrender, not just let go, but to empty the joints. To let it all go then, thanking the shit for this opportunity to transform these deep seated holding on patterns. Thanking mother earth for receiving my negatives humbly appreciating her composting & transforming it all into new wonderful light filled solutions. Really time to let go the pain, the blame, the self-sabotage, and the guilt. Leave the shit where it belongs, not on the dinner table.
This worked really for me, accepting tha there is shit & it needs to be transformed, but it is not to contaminate my nourishing cultivation of chi.
Letting go again& again, transforming, letting go the shit, let go the past, it’s dead!! The cycle of life & death, so repeatedly let go, there will also be shit. I loved the story about the Dart River, it made such sense.
A very significant turning point for me was the breakdown of my phone. It decided to go for a swim, after the 4th day, this was my only means of contact with my family. Even as I saw it lying in water I felt, that’s the old Monica gone. Tim very generously loaned me his iPad for emails, but I was unable to speak to my family & Gerard doesn’t email. So any loneliness or sadness could not be shared or diluted. I had to make friends with the wu chi. The writing of a letter to the wu chi really made it more tangible. The invitation to face it directly & ask for the teaching to show me how to be peaceful & still in this vacancy & not
need to fill it up.
I remember asking the wu chi to help me to get to know it better, to flow & surf with the waves. To please help me embrace the not knowing, to trust. To accept the loneliness & the darkness.
As I started to focus on healing my womb, my inner child, actually many inner children, hurt & lonely has also come up. It is all so connected. Over the years I have buried, numbed off, separated from my womb. I separated myself emotionally; the child has been so traumatized she feels so lonely & separated. My belief having been it was not ok to feel what I was feeling. So eventually my nervous system gives up & the bleeding starts.
To embrace oneness was essential. To be one with what I feel, I have a right to feel what I feel.
So for me all of the work with my inner family has been so necessary.
I have learned that this separation is not natural, my inner child felt very anxious & insecure, she was really feeling that my inner father was weak. It’s amazing really, last year before all of this bleeding started; my inner child gave me the song about the inner father, pleading for his presence & protection.
I have really started to make a new healthier connection with my inner father, working with the colour drawings, with the qualities, reinforcing qualities that I do have, but now realising that I need to use them for me & not just for others. Also doing the same with the Inner Mother & Inner child was tremendous, great to see the images & feel the qualities. Moving on then to practice the CK 1&2 to integrate all of this was wonderful, all the qualities swimming in a fountain off chi. The practice of connecting with my inner family during all practice is much more real for me now, connecting in a common centre, that’s the key.
The modelling of my inner parents on the sun & the earth is what I am working on, slowly. I see that staying in the light is what is important, to surrender to the light.
For me I found real healing following this particular piece of work. As I shared with you Master Choy my drawings & my inner Father poem, I started to become aware of the real me, the qualities deep in me of happiness & beauty in my inner fountain. You shared that because of the light work I had been doing & being with, my biological Father now had also moved on, he had been forgiven & free to go to the light. For me at the time, this news was momentous, 5 years ago you shared with me, as to where he was, which I knew inside. You also shared that the work I was doing & would do, would also release him & now it has happened. This also frees me up so much. Today you also shared with me that as a result of my commitment, I had been “promoted” for want of a better word, in the hierarchy of light. Thank you light for being light,
This whole process is so essential for my HBMS healing of my womb, no separation. The fresh revitalised relationship with my inner family, was the foundation I needed to move on with the healing of my womb.
For me now I have a totally new relationship with my womb, I love her. We have become really close; she is so open now & receptive to the healing gifts I send her. It’s now a celebration when we connect daily, with the exercises specifically designed for her healing. I have asked for her forgiveness & we now have such a wonderful celebratory co creative relationship, its wonderful!
In the early days of my retreat I needed to focus so much on healing forgiveness from my womb, for having buried so many “dark sinful” feelings (as a child I had felt that this world couldn`t deal with it, so I took it on as my fault & left it in the dark of my womb, never to be found or seen again). This is exactly what I felt when I first saw the figure of the dark spiked hideous figure with the small child`s shoes on, & just having the space to see out, this was something NEVER to be unearthed again. All of this happened back in November, which incidentally was when the insistent bleeding started. Now I feel & know that my inner child has been really so courageous to appear as this, she saw the opportunity & made her very damaged & abused presence felt, WELL DONE MONICA, YOU ARE A HEROINE!
I wrote a letter to my uterus.
I WAS being bled emotionally, from my childhood, parents, abuse, siblings.
I have known this on a gut level for many years, but seemed to have the belief that it was my “fault” & then sometimes telling me I was imagining it.
Recently so many of the events/experiences that I have felt to be in my imagination, or that I have dismissed as minimal are in fact very true & are very real & indeed very detrimental to my health.
I know that I am in the right place to deal with & heal this. Thank you chi,
Thank you Monica for your wisdom to come to the school for 2 weeks chi healing retreat, well done, you ARE doing your very best.
This development of our connection has come through many ways. With seeing Master Choy for a 1:1 once a day & often twice I had been given so many tools to really focus on healing my womb. When I practice the hand stroking exercise, encouraging the cells inside my womb to wake up, loving them, thanking them, it really reconnects me back to my womb, feeling her, loving her. She really responds to the chi filled touch, this has also helped massively with the colour science which has also been a totally phenomenal healing & communication tool.
Now as I am finishing my 2 week programme, during these exercises my body can’t sit still in the chair, my womb is vibrating with light filled chi, almost trying to jump out of my body. As the momentum increases, by the time I reach the final one of the 5 elements, light spiralling inside my womb & then fanning out, the light is a star in my womb with many arms radiating in so many directions, including beams of light shining down my vagina & rectum, areas of my body that had been so damaged with childhood abuse. I can physically feel & see this light getting closer to healing the pain each time I practice, thank you light for being light. Thank you chi for being chi.
Where to start with the colour science experience, I really don’t know. It was literally out of this world. I worked on the drawing almost every day of my retreat, many hours each day.
Setting the space for this practice was also very specific. Playing the I am love cd & having Christine’s beautiful Forgiveness candle burning, I would first connect with some of the Hand / womb exercises to make my connection with my beautiful loving forgiving womb. Then we were singing together, that’s what it felt like. She is alive on the paper, the messages growing every day. A new experience in my daily healing experience would somehow appear on the page. This included the healing fountain & the new intensity of the Zhineng chi coming into my body,
Then one day towards the end of my time at the school, I had a real Eureka moment. I just knew “I got it!” I became so aware of the HBMS connection with my womb & indeed all of my organs. I felt such elation & ecstasy, the whole picture just came alive, the whole story, everything connected, no division. I could see that the Fallopian tubes were the road that I had been seeing in my mind’s eye, these many months, that I had read as the journey I was taking, but at that time I didn’t know to where or what it was about. Today I can also now see clearly the 6 FTC in my drawing, releasing myself to be who I really am – the child is free! I could also see my womb as the Womb of Mother Earth. The cycle of life also represented there, in the 4 Seasons. I was so excited at what I had discovered that I wanted to runout onto the road & stop the first car or tractor to share my news. I didn’t, but fortunately I had a meeting with Master Choy soon after & you were able to share with me that I was in an 8th dimensional experience with my womb & boy did that feel good!!
I looked in the mirror later this evening. I could see clearly that Monica is finally growing up!
As a nurse & a teacher of Anatomy & Physiology for 20 years, I had NEVER experienced any organ in such a way. It excites me for my future. With my skills in nursing, academia, healing & as a “patient “, this is ground breaking. Something I really want to explore& develop more.
ZCK practice is so powerful. The loving energy coming through at my heart, belief in myself & my process. It is so unconditional, the building block of the universe; I have enormous humble appreciation for this amazing zhineng healing chi.
Prior to starting my chi self-healing retreat, Master Choy you did say it would take a lot of self-discipline, courage & Perseverance, this was no understatement! It took enormous quantities of all of these factors. There were times when I was really challenged & wondered could I see this process through?
Some of those times were when you introduced the yin tang movement, to practice for 30 minutes morning & evening.
Although the movement was beautifully light filled & so loving, physically I was really challenged to practice for this duration. It got to the stage that in the evening I would have a really warm lavender bath, to loosen my muscles & relax my body, letting go in the water. Then immediately afterwards I would practice 30 minutes of the yin tang movement. The energy had become so strong, expanding inside my tan tien & rising through my body. As it progressed every muscle of my body would vibrate vigorously, my whole body resembling an epileptic seizure. I realise now that I pushed myself through this excessively, actually frightening my inner child really, but I felt that I needed to practice this for 30 minutes continuously, each time, to maintain the power of the chi coming in. It was of a very high velocity & after the climax, my body would momentarily move into neutral, before it would commence again. I had real concerns about how I would keep this practice up when I got home. Following the practice, besides feeling the physical exhaustion that I was feeling at the time, you also said that it was important to rest following the practice, as light beings often visited afterwards to give healing.
I can laugh now as I recall this early time in my retreat, essentially I was having a “work out”. As I brought my concerns to you Master Choy, I remembered your words just dissolved so much concern & indeed worry now I realise in my body. You suggested taking a pause during the 30 minutes, to hold myself. Also you corrected my technique, I was forcing the yin tang to open, and you guided me to allow the yin tang to open. The difference that these 2 guidelines made, I believe a world of difference to my chi self-healing. Firstly I realised how hard I was pushing myself, no room for softness, non-judgement or loving acceptance of how I was really feeling, which was worried & fearful about not doing my practice perfect.
Secondly the difference in my technique totally transformed my yin tang experience. So soft & supported, becoming more & more effortless. The light so amazing, growing to enormous magnitude. Expanding from within, again & again. My body totally enveloped in pure light! The joy & the happiness abundant. This practice which I had been previously “bracing” myself to practice has now become a most welcome, loving, joyous practice which I now totally love to practice. Thank you you light, for being light, thank you chi, for being chi. Often I was very aware of the light beings afterwards working with me, with so much movement & activity in my womb, especially.
Another concern was the behaviour of my physical body, now when I was practicing every aspect of my RTC. It would vibrate, shake, spiral, and behave as a snake, wriggling, for want of a better word. It could be quite challenging to practice for long, especially the ZCK. Master Choy, again your reassurance that my body had to adjust to the new vibration of chi coming into it & this too would pass. At times the chi felt like no experience of chi I had been through before. I didn’t try to figure it out; I just thanked the chi repeatedly.
Master Choy you shared with me also, that that my animal body had been so deeply damaged through my childhood experiences that the Zhineng chi was healing now beyond, emotional, physical mental & spiritual. That is just how it felt. My feeling that this was going so deep, beyond my knowing or awareness, I couldn`t explain it, yet I knew it. Thank you chi for being chi.
This acceptance & being in the wu chi was coming to be more easily as time went on. Really doing my best to trust the process. Yes doubts did come in, but much less frequently & transformed more easily than in the beginning.
As my time neared the end of the 2 weeks, I could feel that I was really holding the tension, pressure building, sometimes finding it difficult to see clearly. Then at other times I could just be in it. I could find the inner judge at work at times, do more, push; you won’t get everything done in time.
Then stepping back my inner mother, she was so accepting, holding me with the concerns, it really helps. I’m softer, more flowing, feels a much more loving place.
There have been so much so many reflections of my healing process. My time in the green house was very precious, each little salad plant was like a cell in my womb, delicately handling it, nurturing, nourishing it with food & water. Making a hole for the roots to grow down, making new root beliefs. Cleaning the trays beforehand was great to get old roots of other plants away, letting go of old root beliefs & if there were any slugs, that would destroy the plant. It was such a healing time & of enormous encouragement & reassurance of how nature operates. She just does her best to enable us all to grow, repair, restore. If there is a problem, she just works with it, doing what she does best, giving life & healing. With the correct environment, attitude & care, I learned that true healing from nature is possible, on all HBMS levels.
Thank you Master Choy so much for the invitation to a very special experience, to let the air breathe me……
Starting I really needed to surrender totally. It helped when first I felt the room filled with chi filled air.
Then feeling the air on my nostrils, it flowed into my body at a totally different pace, sometimes a trickle or it could feel very full, especially in my body. Moving at different forces, but no pressure, all flowing effortlessly. The breath also went beyond my lungs & abdomen, moving throughout my body. With it, it took the anxiety I was feeling in my breath & body, totally dissolved.
Towards the end I felt myself lose concentration & I could really feel the difference in my breath & body when “I” was in control again.
Thank you Master Choy, a very valuable lesson. Loving grateful chi for this class & for the amazing life changing possibilities that you have made available to me during my chi healing retreat.
Another amazing chi healing result, was the improvement of my sleep pattern. For many years my sleep has been so disrupted, surviving on very little quality sleep. Within 2 or 3 days of starting my retreat, my duration of sleeping hours & quality of sleep improved so much, unbelievable!
I also have to acknowledge & appreciate the many many smiling beings I have had supported me through my time here. I could be practising RTC, eating, drawing, in class, anywhere & I would see smiling beings greet me. They were so encouraging & acknowledging that I was on the right path. At times when I felt lost or really challenged, a smile could appear from a flower, or even a bowl of soup! They were there in such abundance over the 2 weeks, it was remarkable. Thank you all you beautiful, light filled, smiling, loving beings.
Thank you again Master Choy, Christine & my FTT family, for your abundant teaching, patience, healing love & wisdom. For providing me with the most unique opportunity to heal myself.
Loving humble grateful Chi,