What is Self Cornering?
This is part of the FTT Training Course. The first step in The Art of Self Cornering is to do it in a gentle way, so it could be called, The Art of Gentle Self Cornering. The second step is to practice it as The Art of Assertive Self Cornering!! You need both qualities of gentleness and assertiveness to flow with the onslaught of the inner negative selves.
Self cornering is about you taking the initiative to slow down, turn within and with patience understand your own self escape activities and re-empower you to be free, transparent and chi energized.
When you feel afraid and stressed out for example, you may attribute your fears to external circumstances, at the same time, in this moment, you have a fearful inner self who is running your life. That is an emotional fact. When you face this inner fearful self with courage, stillness and loving acceptance, you stop running away and using the Tai Chi tools of flowing with the enemy, you may even be able to transform that inner fearful self into a positive one!!
Many martial arts experts have heard of the master saying, “You are your own worst enemy!” But seldom do you hear, “And you can be your own best friend!!”
In Tai Chi, you learn to flow with the “punch”, the inner criticism, the inner cynicism and inner negative selves, one at a time. Then, you learn to transform the enemy to be your friend. After many years of practice, your inner voice is truly your best friend!!!
What are the benefits of learning The Art of Self Cornering?
- As you get to know yourself better, you learn to be more confident of who you are.
- When you are more honest with yourself, you can be honest with others and you help to build a better world around you.
- You are the best expert on how you are, even if you feel great or feel not so good. Self cornering empowers you.
- As you make friends with you and earn the trust and courage within, there will be situations when you need help urgently and help will be at hand from within to guide you out of the most dangerous situations.
- You learn to be kind with yourself when you see your own mistakes without running away.
- Self cornering is about facing your own weaknesses and painful areas with an openness to learn from your errors. You become forgiving of others as you learn to forgive your own shortcomings.
- Getting to know your own limitations in terms of for example, physical energy levels allow you to be wiser in the use of your physical energy, time and commitments.
The Art of Self Cornering
By Gunn-Berit Klieveland
Through my life I have believed that I have cornered myself a lot. In the Rainbow Tai Chi way of self- cornering one could not say that is what I have done in the past and what I have been up to has unfortunately and definitely not being for the best – nor for myself or others.
I have been self-reflecting and in a kind of honest way- I believed myself- and maybe others did as well- but without reason to be trusted really. The way I have been honest and open has been more a way of trying to protect myself from criticism from others – mostly by criticising myself before they could do it, in case they wanted to. And the other side of the coin has been a way of bounding that has also been a kind of self-protection – showing everybody else my weak sides, but not letting them truly close. And the reason for not letting anybody truly coming close has been because I wasn’t with me- but that I didn’t know back then.
It has been a hard- and also within the showing of my vulnerable sides, an excluding quality in how this game has managed to play itself on my stage that is me.
The foremost reason to this is how my mind has been in charge. The mind has believed that it has had it’s right to analyse and that the ‘honesty’ that it presented was true. When letting all feelings flow through me has been a way of justifying or explaining myself- but also within that I have ‘cornered’ myself on the other hand with the most critical judgmental point of view. Like cornering for the sake of cornering in a way.
One good example can be how I have been concerned about my mother and my sister. I have been so worried and full of self-complain and guilt because I didn’t see them enough or helping them enough- worried about how they have been mistreating and hurting each other and feeling to tired to involve. And as the result I have enabled myself to be present with them when I was actually physically there. Mostly occupied with my own negative ‘cornering’ . I feel that cornering myself in this way is taking my energy- depleting me– which the delay of this homework is an example of by the way…..
The Rainbow Tai Chi Way of Cornering
The Rainbow Tai Chi way of self-cornering is totally different, and gradually I am assimilating through experience what this is about.
Only through truly facing, accepting and surrendering in a Heart Body Mind Spirit way can I make myself able to find my vision and to be fully present.
What touched me very much at the LBI weekend, when this was the subject of the class, was when Choy said: ‘You don’t have to beat yourself up. You can corner yourself softly!’ This feels like such a gift and revelation to me that tears are filling my eyes when staying with that sentence and letting it sink into me. I feel that the teaching about self-cornering is helping me in my relationship with Per, my husband. It was very clarifying and helping me to accept the differences that man and woman are from nature; Per and myself that means on the personal level.
I am practising- when conflicts arise – to surrender my mind – my thoughts and what I believe, from my mind into the heart-centre. When I manage I feel warm energy spreading and acceptance in my heart. Like embracing. And then when I surrender into the tan tien centre I feel very peaceful and safe. A lightness and easiness that comes.
Often humour. Also humor have grown as I have managed to surrender my sexual energy into the centre. Now I can crack a sexy joke together with Per and also share my sexuality with him without any other motive or expectations. Just for fun.
I also feel that Per has opened his heart very much this spring and that we connect much more in the tan tien centre than we used to. I now feel stronger than ever that my vision is found inside me. Not through others opinions, but through trusting Light Being in my own centre. I feel that is more important than anything and I also feel my ego going from being scattered from fear to being really warm and cooperative.
I feel that when I am in my centre everything is going very well- that I have the right energy needed and that sharing and supporting Per and Malin (my daughter) as well is naturally flowing.
I have a lot to learn about how I can corner myself better, but I know that the answers are within and that they come when I surrender Heart, Body, Mind and Spirit into my centre.
One small step at the time with loving chi, Gunn-Berit.
Key Negative Emotional Charged Words/Beliefs
By Pamela Marsden
I feel the transformation of disempowering beliefs is the “key-note” to a happy life.
The awareness of disempowering beliefs is in itself empowering.
When you let go of judgement, you are able to step back bringing even more positive energy, giving space to see more clearly, without attaching yourself emotionally, taking things personal.
Space to see how these beliefs have held me prisoner. The question is “do I now choose this“, previously I did not see this question or could not see that it could be asked, I believed I had no choice, I see this as disempowering me. No judgement however, no recriminations, no beating myself up because I did not see this before, instead I feel excitement.
An exciting prospect of self – empowerment.
In each moment I have the choice how to be.
Do I choose to hold on.
I connect to the first principle of the first fundamental exercise of letting go, I see a self whom has these beliefs that she has inherited without her knowledge, a self whom did not have the power to choose just to simply accept her lot.
I ask her the question “would you like to choose how you feel”
“yes, I feel that I have the right to choose, I feel worthy, I want the best for myself, I deserve it” She says to herself “Pamela I feel you deserve the best of all things. The freedom of choice is yours.
I feel this is a pledge to me, an amazing gift, the freedom of choice, now I am aware this is a moment to moment gift. It is in the most powerful place of NOW
Now here in the present, I choose, I choose how to be. I believe I am worthy, old belief unworthiness –
I see an unworthy self, as soon as I see her the shift begins, a letting go of this belief, she moves, steps aside leaving her unworthiness to be shed like a skin, it falls to the earth to be composted.
A reactive self, she chooses to respond in each moment that is presented, to respond with wisdom with love. I am doing my best. An “is my best good enough self appears” her energy blocked with this belief, again supported by her centre, supporting herself like a mother and father, not pressuring, her choice to choose. She begins to glow, warm in her self-love, self- belief. Like dust the outer shell of not good enough falls to the earth, tiny creatures begin the job of transforming it, nothing ever gets wasted, seeing that she has a great deal to learn, from what is going on at her feet. They are wonderful teachers the creatures of the earth. She feels mellow and in harmony with where she is, her place in life.
My inner selves all coming together, beings of the moment with choices, empowered beings, old beliefs connected to the roles in my life, I choose to melt and let go of them, seeing problems connected to old beliefs, new belief – There are only creative solutions waiting to be found